| COPING WITH YOUR ABUSER PART 4 |
| Offer him continued Narcissistic Supply. You can make a narcissist do anything by offering, withholding, or threatening to withhold Narcissistic Supply (adulation, admiration, attention, sex, awe, subservience, etc.). Play on his Fear of Abandonment If nothing else works, explicitly threaten to abandon him. You can condition the threat ("If you don't do something or if you do it – I will desert you"). The narcissists perceives the following as threats of abandonment, even if they are not meant as such: Confrontation, fundamental disagreement, and protracted criticism When completely ignored When you insist on respect for your boundaries, needs, emotions, choices, preferences When you retaliate (for instance, shout back at him). . When You Have Decided to Leave Him Fight Him in Court ( criminal ) Here are a few of the things the narcissist finds devastating, especially in a court of law, for instance during a deposition: Any statement or fact, which seems to contradict his inflated perception of his grandiose self. Any criticism, disagreement, exposure of fake achievements, belittling of "talents and skills" which the narcissist fantasizes that he possesses, any hint that he is subordinated, subjugated, controlled, owned or dependent upon a third party. Any description of the narcissist as average and common, indistinguishable from many others. Any hint that the narcissist is weak, needy, dependent, deficient, slow, not intelligent, naive, gullible, susceptible, not in the know, manipulated, a victim. |
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